Article Database
Publications
Maxim
Alice Cooper
(Maxim, 2000-07-00)
'Alice'. That's a girls name. If you had a band with hair down to the waist and make-upon their face which was the loudest, most obnoxious thing in American nightmare music, and they were called 'Vincent Furnier', you'd say, 'That doesn't work.' So I said, 'What's the sweetest, most American name I can think of?' and came up with Alice Cooper. We have a running thing at our concerts - anyone named Alice Cooper gets in for free and gets to have backstage passes and everything. Normally when I go backstage afterwards there's a whole bunch of old ladies with pink hair going, 'I'm Alice Cooper!' 'No, I'm Alice Cooper!'...
Alice Cooper
(Maxim, 2005-10-00)
I can't stand being around my wife's parents, and they're coming to stay with us for two weeks. How can I avert this disaster? Gary T., Seattle, WA. Do a lot of farting -- fart to the point where they don't even want to be around you at all. No, you can't really avoid the parents. If you're coming, you've got to find some common ground. Either learn to suck up or be so annoying that they don't want to come. I always went the Ferris Bueller route: Be the sweetest guy in the world and pretty soon you will own them. If you can manipulate your mother-in-law, your father-in-law will be happy just because he won't have to argue with her....