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Alice Cooper

Before Ozzy ate the bat, Alice Cooper played with his snake, guillotine and electric chair. Scary. Now, I did interview Alice, but I interviewed Alice the golfer, family man, charity friend – not the dungeons-and-dragons ROAR Alice. In fact, he even told me I could call him Coop if I wished. After our interview, I must say I feel nothing but love for one of the creepiest characters alive. Enjoy.

Hey Nick, how are you doing?

I'm good. How you doing Alice?

Oh, I am great. I'm in Monte Carlo right now. Been here for about 10 days. My wife's over here teaching jazz and ballet, and it's a lot better than spending 10 days in Phoenix where it's 115. At least in Monte Carlo I can act like James Bond for 10 days.

That's great.

I went to the casino last night. It was great. I walked in and said, "Cooper. Alice Cooper." (Hums James Bond theme music. Laughs) But it is really cool. You walk outside and there are Aston Martins and Bentleys. It's really right out of the movie.

And all those cars are in your garage, right? (Laughs)

(Laughs) Well, um, the Aston Martin is. (Laughs)

So, what can Alice fans expect from the new tour?

The trick for me is how do you go out there and present the songs. You go out and you have to do "Poison," and "Billion Dollar Babies," and "18," and "School's Out." How do you present them in a unique way? So, I just let Alice be Alice. Alice's show has always been sick burlesque. We don't use pyro. We don't use lasers. Everything is a little creepier than that. That's what I have always loved about it. It draws you into the stage.

And Madonna is borrowing the electric chair, right?

How dare she! You have Britney using my snake. You have Madonna using my electric chair. Every one of these pop divas are using Alice Cooper things.

You should be proud of that.

Yeah. I think it's kind of interesting that it's not the rock bands that are using it; it's the divas who are using it.

Who's sexier with a snake: You or Britney?

I would rather see Britney with a snake than me. (Laughs)

No offense, buddy, but I would rather see Britney with a snake, too.

Even I'll admit to that. (Laughs) I make the snake look a lot more dangerous than she does. Madonna doesn't really pull off the electric chair as well as I do, though.

So, are you pumped for the Chicago stop on your tour?

Oh, yeah. Because I used to live there. I used to live over in Lake Point Towers. But the Midwest has always been the best audience in the entire world anyway. And L.A. has their own flavor. And New York has it's own sort of strange taste to it. But the Midwest has the all-out Alice sort of rock audience.

Do you ever spend any time in Oak Park when you're here? 'Cause you know, I be from the O.P. (His wife was raised in my hometown, baby, baby.)

Oh, really? Yeah, since my wife's family lived there, I spent some good time in Oak Park. I would always go to Geppetto's (pizza place in the O.P.). And New Star Chinese restaurant was great. That was sort of my secondary hangout. It was great.

Had I known that you were at my favorite pizza stop, I may have stalked you out a bunch. Perhaps had a slice with Alice.

(Laughs)

Are you wearing any makeup right now?

Oh, yeah. Wait. Right now? (Laughs) No, right now I am wearing about two pounds of sunblock because I got burned to a crisp the other day. I went out on a boat and just got burned. And I live in Arizona, so you'd think I would know better. But here it's 85 degrees, so it's really easy to get burned to a crisp.

That's not going to prevent you from playing any shows, is it?

Are you kidding me? Broken ribs, 20 stitches, nothing can stop me. It's funny 'cause Bowie isn't playing right now because of a pinched nerve. A PINCHED NERVE? COME ON! A pinched nerve would be a good day for me.

Start the wars.