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Alice Cooper Breaks the Rule

Not long ago there existed a glorious tradition referred to in song and story as show biz. It was something like this... If a person was involved in any level of the production of an entertainment being presented to the public, that person was devoted body and soul to the absolutely flawless presentation of that entertainment to the audience. And every person could make no sacrifice that was too great to that end. Why, people were known to have weathered everything from pneumonia to labor pains to continue to give a good performance.

Soon after the birth of the rock concert, cracks began to appear in this foundation of entertainment. Every rock concert-goer has waited innumerable hours while technical difficulties, delayed airline flights, petulant rock stars, and countless other hassles ate away at precious show times. I've never to this day seen a rock concert produced with anything surpassing the level of the average small town little theater. Countless anonymous crewmen and technicians who should never even be seen by the audience scurry around before, during and after every show. The concert-goer sees two shows at the same time. The weird part of this whole thing is that the comic opera, "Roadies on Parade" is usually more entertaining than the real show.

I guess somewhere it is written that a rock musician must be cool. This is the golden rule of rock. Being cool usually means regarding the audience as so many automatons whose sole purpose is to pay money, and act as sound dampeners to eliminate the echo in the auditorium.

The people who make up the crowds at such concerts are the most permissive, most patient and easy going people in the world. Permissiveness means that people can break the rules, and Alice Cooper broke the golden rule.

Alice Cooper is an uncool band. Every move, every sound, hell, every sensation created by Alice Cooper was directed to the audience with the full force of a total entertainment production. Lights, costumes, make-up, and music too were calculated to absorb the audience into the show.

The curtains parted, Alice Cooper exploded at center stage, and it really happened. Real rock opera!

Alice Cooper moves with the sensual grace and abandon of a really first rate burlesque queen, and backs it up with a voice and stage presence that would capture the interest of the most seasoned police security guard. That's like raising the dead!

Near the middle of the set, Alice was lead away by a uniformed nurse only to return minutes later in a state of desperate rage and bound in a strait jacket. While belting out the song, he painfully wriggles his way free and proceeds to lash out at the audience with the shredded jacket. A policeman attempts to restrain Alice and a scuffle ensues. Alice emerges triumphant over society and the cops!!!!! Wow gang. Blowing feathers, fire extinguishers, an electric chair, a spear, lots of Alice Cooper posters, and a sword full of dollar bills were used to great advantage to whip the audience into a witless frenzy.*

I hope Alice Cooper indicates the start of a trend. Rock audiences deserve to be entertained just like any other audience. Just imagine what a show like this would be if the band could really play well. The mind boggles!

One thing in passing... A lot of questions have been raised about the sexual identification of the Alice Cooper band. I'm not sure of the rest, but the drummer is absolutely beautiful.

*For details, see the NEXT Alice Cooper show.