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Soundcheck: Alice Cooper, Shock Rocker

WHEN VINCENT DAMON Furnier decided to start calling himself Alice Cooper in the 1970s, he adopted a theatrical stage show and set a precedent of putting visuals to music. Thirty years on, he's still at it, on tour in support of a special edition of last year's Dragontown that includes a new song, "Clowns Will Eat Me," videos and live tracks. And even though he's just as likely to spend his time on the golf course, Cooper still puts on a blood-and-guts-filled show.

Your new restaurant here hasn't received many positive reviews.

Really? Wow. That's amazing, because the one in Phoenix was voted best new restaurant in the United States. What do they want? The better Cleveland plays, the better the food will be, how's that? We started the restaurant here in Phoenix and got unbelievable reviews, and then TGI Fridays had a Redfish that went down and we opened one there. I don't know if they have exactly our menu. When I get there, I'll go check it out. If it doesn't work, heads will roll!

You're a big sports fan. Are you friends with Arizona Diamondbacks players?

Oh, yeah. One of the reasons for the restaurant was that I've never met anyone on a baseball team who didn't want to be in a band. I never met a person in a band who didn't want to play some kind of professional sports. When you get off stage and get on the tour bus and you have some 500 stations on your TV, the first thing that comes on is ESPN. THere's a real coordination between sports and rock 'n' roll. Almost every guy I know in bands was some kind of jock.

What do you think of the garage rock revival?

I heard a band called Flip the other day that was as good as anybody. The Strokes, the Hives and the Vines are all really good bands. They're back to playing just solid rock 'n' roll. I'm happy about that.

What's a more popular item, the From the Inside embossed lunch box or the Welcome to My Nightmare teddy bear?

I think the lunchbox. It's great. When you go into a Spencer's of FAO Schwarz and see the Alice Cooper action figure, there's something subversive about that. When kids are in there going, "I want the 18-inch Alice who sings 'Welcome to My Nightmare,' and you realize the dad wasn't allowed to go to my concerts. Alice has become a piece of Americana, which is great. I don't mind that. When I started, I was the most taboo character in the business. I really haven't changed the show much. In fact, my show now is probably bigger and louder than it was then. Thirty years later, you can go see Alice Cooper the way you go to the circus. My show now has more energy than it had then. I'm the Vincent Price of rock 'n' roll. That's fine with me.

You were on The Muppet Show. What was that like?

That was one of the great weeks of my life. You rehearse for an entire week. There's nothing in the world hipper than the Muppets. Not even the Ed Sullivan show. John Cleese was on it, Monty Python was on it, Peter Sellers. Every major star had done the Muppets.

Which Muppet is your favorite?

I think Beeker. I always kind of identified with him. He was this nervous little guy who was getting experimented on. You gotta like Sam the Eagle, the blowhard Republican. Those were the neat perks that made me Americana. I never started out to be that. THe very idea of Alice Cooper was to annoy every parent in America and make great records. We wanted to play as good as the Stones or the Who or Zeppelin and end up on the charts. We ended up having as many hit singles. The image was so annoying to the parents, you never expected Alice to still be there. People now think of him as an American treasure. But once you last a certain amount of time, that happens. LIke the Ramones. Nobody expected the Ramones to last more than two weeks. Musically, they weren't great. But they were consistent. You get that respect after you stick around for that long.

You've said your life wouldn't make for a good reality TV program. Whose life would?

I don't think you can get much better than Anna Nicole Smith, only because it's so disturbing. She's the most obnoxious character. She's probably a sweet girl, but there's so much stuff going on that's wrong. Everything about this show is wrong. She makes the Osbournes look really normal. She's got some issues.

Do you really believe in heaven and hell?

Oh, absolutely. I'm about as right-down-the-middle Christian as you can get. I've found that all the other systems don't work. That works for me. When I write now, a lot of it shows up, but it doesn't water down my music at all.

See you in Cleveland.

I'm going to do a check on my ribs when I'm in town. If they're doing anything wrong, they're in trouble. And I'm gonna tell 'em that you sent me.